Emily in Africa

Ah, mass transportation...while it seems to come in various shapes and sizes all over the world, Kenyan has won the prize for Most Colourful and Loudest Reggae Volume. The matatu is a wonderful thing - while really just a glorified minivan, it's so much more than that. On any route in the country there'll be dozens of matatus at any section and passengers can choose between matatus based on decorative theme and the blasting reggae music. Apparently, school kids have a rating system based on the name of a matatu, but how could you possibly choose between "Batman Forever", "Get Back!", "Apocalypse Now" and "Crunk Juice"?

(OK, so this is a much-too-calm picture of a matatu, so don't get disillusioned to the lack of insanity. I'll take some more lively pics this weekend)

So once you decide on a matatu, next comes to fun part: Trying to squeeze into a seat. While a matatu minivan appears constructed for 14 people, this is clearly only a suggestion and the best matatu conductors can fit at least 20 people is not more (since the more people, the more money they make). And since my mum is reading this, I won't even mention the safety record of these things, but suffice it to say I make avoiding the "death seat" in the front a priority.

The most exciting matatu adventure/debacle was last weekend when I was in town and after a long, hot, dusty, tiring day I hopped on a Bamburi-bound matatu to take me home to Bamburi beach. Which was a big mistake. See, although you would think a Bamburi matatu would go to Bamburi beach, it actually goes in the opposite direction to Bamburi town and to get to Bamburi beach you have to take the Mtwapa matatu. Who knew? Apparently Jeff the friendly conductor who took me on a joyride to Bamburi town knew, but he didn't think it was that important. See, his route doesn't get many foreigners, so he had to make the most of the opportunity to hit on me.

Jeff: You are very bu-tiful
E: Great. Actually, I'm very hot.
Jeff: (winks) I know...
E: No, no. I'm hot! (Makes fanning motion with hand).
Guy: Yes, yes. Very hot. Can I have your digits, baby?
E: No, hot like grumpy. Very grumpy. Very tired. I would be a bad date.
Guy: Ah yes, you are very funny my friend. Seriously, I want your digits.

So it looks like Kenya missed the memo that "What's your digits, baby?" went out of style in like, 1985. Unfortunately I didn't know the Kiswahili traslation of "Not going to happen" or my other favourite "Dream on", it was smarter to begrudgingly be kind and give him my Queen's qlink email address (like I ever check that!). But other than getting hit on, matatus are actually quite fun. I mean, do the buses in Canada take speed bumps as not onlyan affront to their driving abilities, but also as a chance to gain as much air time as possible? I didn't think so.